An Artist's Date

Several years ago I learned about taking an "Artist's Date" from Julia Cameron, author of a book whose title I forget. (After this write was finished, I remembered - The Artist's Way.) The idea is the same as a"play date" for children. One simply plays. Sometimes adults find it very difficult to play. They forget how. What happened was this. I got a free day when the scheduled workshop was cancelled -no one was coming. So, I took a whole day off - I was lucky no one showed up for yoga sessions either! I went to Hancock Fabrics and spent several hours looking at and feeling fabrics. First I spent an hour looking through pattern books and selected two - there were many more that I love so it took quite a while to narrow the choice to two. I bought a cotton batik print of bright aqua and tans that looks like somebody took paint and dribbled it over the cloth. Never before in my life have I worn anything like it. But that is part of the play fun! So, I came home with my beautiful cloth and pattern, cleaned off the kitchen table and proceeded to cut out the "top". ( It's not really a "blouse.") I only made one mistake - cut one piece a little shorter than it should be. From there I went to my sewing machine and supply of threads accumulated over the last 50 years and selected the perfect color. I had to oil the sewing machine since it hadn't been used in forever and when I plugged it in and cranked it up it sounded like a threshing machine!! And the fun continued. While the machine was assimilating the oil, I brought the ironing board in from the storage building, got the iron out and plugged it in, found some very old interfacing, and ironed it onto the facing piece. So far so good. Then the challenge occurred. Sewing the facing into the top involved sewing together one piece that is curved and the other straight. Believe me, sewing together a curve and a straight line is tough! Finally I remembered to clip the edges of the curved piece so that the seam line became straight. Follow me? By then, my patience was gone. I turned off the iron and the sewing machine light, closed the door behind me and headed for a glass of wine! Altogether, I had been playing from 10:00 am to 5:30 pm. But it wasn't over yet. I had a supper of steamed cauliflower and roasted chicken followed by almond clusters - all of the remaining pieces we didn't eat last weekend. A hot bath with lovely smelling salts and to bed.

This morning I feel like a new Jaquie. It's as though some kind of catharsis took place. It was so good, I will keep going again today! Tune in tomorrow for a report. By the way, I did manage to do one chore during the day - reserved a house in Santa Fe for the month of September!

Friends - Connecting

Friend Faye at the Pond

Yesterday I had lunch with Lori Hajost - a friend I hadn't seen in many years (don't have a photo of her). It was absolutely delightful to spend that hour in Howard's on Main eating a wonderful sandwich and sharing lives, "catching up" we say. This morning, while researching materials on stress, I took a break to look at a magazine and I found this in "Cooking Light" magazine: The Importance and Problem of Staying Connected. ....you're just not getting the friend time you used to......you trust that you can rely on your friends to be there when you really need them. But you always need them. Friendship is not a constant state of connection, it needs to be tended, and improves with tending...... "Every hour of friendship time you add to your life diminishes stress and increases your happiness." Lori and I began as a business relationship when she designed my "Choosing New Pathways" logo. And, actually, we hadn't seen each other since. But, something kept reminding me of her (LinkedIn, Facebook) and I needed to SEE her. Yes, the visit "diminished my stress and increased my happiness!" You know what, I had no other reason to go to town, but it was perhaps the most rewarding trip to town I've made.
Where is the friend you haven't SEEN, or at least talked with, in a long time?

Pod Sisters Retreat

Yesterday was a day of savoring. Enjoying the beautiful sunshine we had over the weekend and the hours of companioning with my Pod Sisters. Five of us were together - together in every sense. We laughed, talked, ate non-toxic food, shared tender moments with some tears, and reassured each other, while at the same time recognizing that all is not right with the whole world. We felt a sense of togetherness that we always have when we meet. And, we all did a lot of listening. Perhaps that is the greatest gift we share - listening with the heart. Listening without judging. Listening with lovingkindness. We were inspired by Parker Palmer's DVD "Circles of Trust" to improve our individual and group trusting actions. More importantly, we felt the deep sense of trust we have for each other. What a beautiful thing it is to be a part of a circle of trust. In this case, it came naturally when we met with a common purpose several years ago, having never seen each other before. But the current group feeling of trust has developed over the years because each of us wanted it. Each of us needed it. There are many writings about circles, groups, and the power that comes from community. We are blessed to be such a community. I share these thoughts with you this morning in hopes that you can savor a circle of trust to which you belong.

The photo shows four of us not nearly so cold as we look, just wrapped up for the photo! We were sitting by the Pond for meditation - a much longer one than we intended - the timer didn't go off! And, of course, none of us wanted to be the first to give up!

Lucy is gone. She died this weekend. Lucy is Susan's dog - a "rescue" dog - who was truly rescued by Susan through the unconditional love she poured out to her. I see Susan now in the big chair with Lucy in her lap. The photo is of her son, Jack, and Lucy - the only one I could find in my collection. I am always at a loss for words when a death occurs. So this morning I have resorted to a couple of verses from a poem by John O'Donohue entitled "For Grief."

When you lose someone you love,/Your life becomes strange,/The ground beneath you gets fragile,/Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;/And some dead echo drags your voice down/Where words have no confidence./ Your heart has grown heavy with loss;/And though this loss has wounded others too,/No one knows what has been taken from you,/When the silence of absence deepens.

All of us have lost pets, but only the one who has suffered the loss knows what that loss means. I know that once before Susan "lost" Quincy - a "loan" to me and Bob when Bob needed Quincy most and then a companion for me when I needed one most. A love offering beyond description. Thank you, Susan. My heart goes out to you in this time of grieving.

There is a lesson here. Again I turn to John O'Donohue. Excerpt from To Learn From Animal Being:

Stranded between time/Gone and time emerging/We manage seldom/to be where we are:/Whereas they are always/Looking out from/ The here and now./May we learn to return/And rest in the beauty/Of animal being./Learn to lean low,/Leave our locked minds/And with freed senses/Feel the earth/Breathing with us.

Mindfulness - What is it? How do I get it?

Mindfulness may be a new word to you. I mentioned it in yesterday's post. Somehow that triggered my thinking cap to dwell upon the word and how we will approach learning about it in the workshop "From Stress to Serenity." I said yesterday that it basically refers to focussing. And, it can be applied to every activity - not just sitting meditation. If you are truly interested in serenity, silence is a major part of achieving it. In that silence, what do you do? You go inward. Yes, it is a self-attention tool. It is not selfish, but self-care. Thich Nhat Hanh recommends that we who are eager for serenity (my word) can practice mindfulness as a tool to go there. During the workshop, we will first look at what stresses you and which stress factors can be eliminated or controlled and which can't. Then we will talk about changing your attitude toward those which cannot be eliminated. After all, you can't change other people and some circumstances cannot be changed, but you CAN change your attitude toward them. Joan Borysenko might call this "resilience." After we figure out where you fall on the stress level scale and what can be changed, we will practice mindfulness tools - Meditation: sitting, walking, eating. Restorative Yoga poses. Expressing gratitude. Journaling. All with the intention of self-care. The intention is to develop serenity. That's where true happiness resides. When you get right down to it, what we all want most is to BE HAPPY!

Mindfulness - Spring is Coming

First, if you read yesterday's post, I have just now edited it - Sam, Luke and Susan's son, is the one who said "filled with lovingkindness" - not my son, my grandson!

Now today. I just checked Weather.com Ninety Six and we are in for some beautiful weather! By the weekend, into the 50's! WHEE! And the next week, even some 60s!! Whee! Time for a sunbath!

Yesterday during my monthly session with Joan Borysenko via telephone, we talked at length about mindfulness. Thich Nhat Hanh is the name that comes to mind immediately for reference purpose - or Jon Kabat-Zin (I'll need to check spellings here) and there are many more. If you attend one of the Yogatorium "From Stress to Serenity" workshops (Feb. 27 and repeated on March 6) you will learn how to experience mindfulness. It is basically a way to focus. But the results are soooooo much moooooore.

In addition to that, I washed my drapes for the first time - amazingly they held together and just a tiny bit of the insulation backing washed away! I'm doing spring cleaning in hopes that spring is really on its way! I love the way we have our snow. Joan (who lives in the mountains of Colorado) got a kick out of the fact that we had to reschedule our workshop because of 4 inches of snow! But for me, it's great fun to have enough snow to cover the trees and ground - the word that comes to mind is purity. Which reminds me. My Pod Sisters arrive Friday for a detox weekend - our original intent was to detox the body - but in the last week or so I ran across an aphorism in Way of the Wizard which inspires me to try more: Purification consists of getting rid of the toxins in your life: toxic emotions, toxic thoughts, toxic relationships. I'll leave you with that thought. It's a BIGGIE! I just re-read the last several posts and realized I'm repeating myself here. Maybe it's worth repeating.

Tired of the Snow? Remember Folly Beach!

Since I can't yet get a photo album on Facebook to work, I'll post another here but I don't know what yet - I'll decide after I write. I forgot to identify the one yesterday - it's friend Win Nelson picking a lemon from her tree to send home with me from Sun Lakes, AZ where she lives, the Phoenix area. I've been thinking a lot about friends since the revelation during my write yesterday. I am practicing metta (lovingkindness) meditation currently and am eager to add friends to my list. For now, my mantra is directed to myself and to each family member individually. The mantra is: I am filled with lovingkindness, I am well, I am peaceful and at ease, and I am happy. Next I use the name of each family member. An interesting note: I spoke this mantra during Christmas brunch at Luke's home and when I returned a couple weeks ago Sam greeted me with "filled with lovingkindness." Aren't grandchildren precious! Just in case you're into metta meditation and curious, let me continue the description. The list goes: self, benefactor, neutral person, difficult person, all people. And, of course, you choose phrases that suit you and a list that suits you. I got my mantra phrases from Karen Drucker's CD.
Sorry about all the details for those who aren't interested. Tomorrow's post maybe more to your liking.

Rain. What a delightful spot to be when it rains. I can hear it hitting the tin roof over the porch and see it hitting the Pond - which is FULL. Fortunately the overflow pipe is open. I expect today to be another quiet one. Few, if any, will venture forth in the rain to join me in the Yogatorium this morning - perhaps this evening Martha and Maureen will come and maybe Stacey, too. I've missed Laura lately. These thoughts are such comforting ones - reviewing the three years now I've been living the simple life here in the Cottage and the Yogatorium. What is especially rewarding is thinking of the friends I've made and who share my love of yoga. There is something about sharing and being part of a community of believers or sharers that makes life good. Now that I've opened this door of community and friends and sharers I am overwhelmed with the numbers of people who have popped into my mind! I tend to say I have two friends - one in Albany NY and one in Phoenix AZ. And yet, there are so many more - no way I can put down all their names - but what is important that I just realized - is the group is growing, not diminishing!!! How fortunate I am at my age to be able to say that!

Detoxing and Snow Photos

Good morning! Here's a shot looking toward the cabin from the Yogatorium porch after sunrise and one of the Pond before sunrise. Amazingly beautiful B&W photo!

Weather.com still says black ice till noon today - so no church in town for me - I'll have church again here at my window. For those interested, I'll post more snow photos on Facebook after a while.

My reference for spiritual thinking this morning is Deepak Chopra's The Way of the Wizard: Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want. Bob ordered it for me back in January of 2004. (I found the Amazon packing slip in the book.) Son Luke asked me about it the other day so I retrieved it from my bookshelf to peruse it again. Interesting to me how and why I go back to some books. Is there a message here?

There are many messages in the book that speak to me - so deeply I have agreed to concentrate on one chapter each day for a while. But, in my quick scan one popped out that I'll share because of its timeliness. (My Pod Sisters are coming for a detox weekend beginning Thursday.) Here is the aphorism: Purification consists of getting rid of the toxins in your life: toxic emotions, toxic thoughts, toxic relationships. Our detox weekend thoughts were centered on FOOD! So, clearly we can broaden our approach! New thoughts from now on when I consider detoxing! I suspect the food detoxing will be the easiest of all! But that's not to say we can't expand our horizons. Happy Valentine's Day! I wish you love - peace - joy.

Resilience and Snow Predicted for Greenwood County!

Well, it looks like we will actually get some snow this time. The sky is gray with a few streaks of light clouds near the horizon. But more to the point, the weather site says we will get 2 to 4 inches beginning at noon today and ending about midnight! Which means, we should wake to ground covered! What a great prospect for photos tomorrow!

I've been studying stress the last few days and finding it truly exciting! About ten years ago now I began studying "positive psychology" from scientists like Martin Seligman (Learned Optimism) and others. That's when I adopted the work title "happiness specialist." Yesterday I spent studying Joan Borysenko's latest book It's Not the End of the World: Developing Resilience in Times of Change. She is my spiritual mentor, so I've read many of her books, but this one is my favorite for now. She does a good job of presenting much of the research information in a simple, straightforward manner in a tiny 5 x 7 inch book of 138 pages. You can begin to use it RIGHT NOW. She presents three secrets of resilience: an eyes-open acceptance of reality, a deep belief that life is meaningful, and a penchant for creative improvisation. In addition, she discusses the attitude of optimistic realism. Another scientist refers to realistic optimism. Whichever, take your choice. All of these secrets are really not secrets and all of them can be worked on and developed more fully by each of us! And I find that exciting!

What does resilience have to do with snow? Tomorrow's "From Stress to Serenity" workshop has to be rescheduled! I can't think of a nicer reason to reschedule.

What a beautiful, bright, clear morning. While many in the DC and New York area are snowed in, we are definitely not. But, we are promised snow tomorrow. How exciting that is! I remember as a child enjoying snow every year - sometimes plenty to make snowmen and snowball fights with my brother, Bill. Now, we almost never get a snow that completely covers the ground. Just a dusting. Still, I'll do my errands in town today and plan to stay in tomorrow and enjoy the snow - a time when we have "permission" to just be.

I have just taken an on-line quiz to determine if I am a right-brain (visual) or left-brain (verbal)thinker. The results congratulated me as being "right down the middle." Somehow I think that might be because I have so much difficulty making decisions! So, I flip-flop between the two. By the way, I could never remember which was which until just now - the i in visual relates to the i in right and the e in verbal to the e in left! Do you use "crutches"? I absolutely DO. So what has this to do with creative and analytical? Seems to me both types of thinking (visual and verbal)relate to both. Maybe we've been led somewhat astray by attaching those two words (creative and analytical) to the right or left brain thinking.

This week I have been attempting to be creative (developing material for a stress/serenity workshop). Most of my good ideas have come while writing. But, the BEST ones come during or following meditation periods in which I tend to visualize.

Good morning! I arrived back home from Phoenix yesterday to what seemed like the same old place - but I've just had a big surprise! Sitting here by the window I see the newest, biggest guest on the Pond - a BEAVER! Never before have I seen or even heard of one being here. He/She swam over to the cottage and disappeared under the porch then swam back out and around most of the Pond area and left by way of the "dancer" near the cedar tree. See the v-shaped tree to the left of the cedar? It reflected in the Pond reminds me of a dancer. I'll try to find the photo and insert it for you.
The next few days I'll be busy preparing for my "From Stress to Serenity" workshop on Saturday. How I love doing this stuff! My kind of fun. And, after my wonderful few days in Phoenix, I'm inspired again! Win and Dave were wonderful hosts, as usual, and I got to visit with Jackie, Erin, and Emma - hadn't seen them for 6 years so many changes in the girls who have become young ladies since I read the PIG book to them! I can't remember the title but they do.
A special good thing about traveling from Atlanta - got to see Tate a few minutes and real visits with Luke, Susan, Jack and Sam. Even watched the Saints win the game with them!
Took a break from yoga and meditation practice, but back at it again today. Looking forward to seeing the group at the church this evening.
Now, time for oatmeal.

Accepting What Is

Good morning! This is a beautiful morning with a very soft rain falling as if it will never stop. But, of course, it will. Just in time for me to hit the road to Atlanta, I hope. Driving in the rain is not a lot of fun, but I still enjoy being on the road. Bob used to say "When Jackie hears the car start up in the driveway, she gets in and then asks 'Where are we going?'" It's not so much being at a different place as it is the going. I've always wanted to know what is "over the next hill." Recently I'm finding myself more content where I am and not so eager to leave. I'm happier just being where and who I am. I'm certain some of this contentment comes from my recent study and contemplation of lovingkindness. My love for myself is increasing. Just as I am.
But that won't stop me from GOING! I can hardly wait to get to Atlanta to see Luke, Susan, Jack and Sam tonight and then to the airport in the morning and off to Phoenix to reconnect with my friend Win and her family! Even so, it's an OK feeling just being me right here, right now. Accepting what is.
I'll be back and writing again after the 7th.
Hugs to you, thanks for reading my writes.

I can't believe January is GONE! I've just gotten comfortable with writing 2010 rather than 09 and still occasionally write the 0 and have to squeeze the 1 in front of it. The trees are lovely this morning. It's still only 25 degrees so I think the fog froze on the limbs and twigs and make them into a sort of winter wonderland! I'm escaping to Phoenix on Wednesday (to Atlanta tomorrow) and the highs there are now in the low 70s! Maybe, just maybe I'll come back with a little suntan even with only a few days there. Win and I talked via Verizon yesterday and I learned that they did have some problems with the excess rain - Jackie (my namesake for which I will forever be humbled!) was out on her tractor scraping the road to their ranch to get rid of some of the deep ruts so her little car can navigate it again. I hear they had damage from a tornado a few years ago but never rain problems before. As the oldtimers said, "it's all because they put that man on the moon!" Win and I have been friends since the 50s when both our husbands were students at the University of Oregon in Eugene. For many years we managed to live near enough to visit often but now it's a flight, not a drive. There is something very special about long-time friends. Even though we change somewhat unnoticeably when physically separated for years at a time, the bond is still there and when we meet again, the changes are absorbed, ignored, accepted or enjoyed and the friendship continues. When you have shared the early years of marriage and your children have shared times together, the bonds remain. And, even though the bonds may have weakened over the years of long separations, in our elder years, they become tight again. Memories that were put on the back burner during the middle "busy" years rise up again and fuel our days with grand, happy thoughts that make our lives more whole.