Just when we think "all is well" something pops up. This time it's a septic tank needs cleaning - and the rain created a ditch across the driveway that has to be filled in. So, life goes on. Fortunately someone else does the actual work and has already agreed to handle it. What a joy to be in a financial position that the cost is not the limiting factor. Each time this happens to me, I am reminded of how fortunate I am to be in a financially secure position - and how many people are not.

Integrity - What am I?

Jaquie at Garrettstown, Ireland

Last evening during our Pod conference call an interesting question arose in my mind. There is an introductory piece for Chapter One (A Hidden Wholeness) that goes like this in part: Jack pines . . . . [represent] strength of character and perseverance, survival of wind, drought, cold, heat, disease . . . In its silence it speaks of . . . wholeness. . . an integrity that comes from being what you are. . . . Douglas Wood. What hit me as we talked, is the phrase "what you are." Why "what" instead of "who"? The whole world seems to be asking "Who am I?" But I don't recall before "What am I?" Surely this was a deliberate word choice, not an accident. So now, for the next few days I will be considering this. What am I? Already I am considering values and principles as opposed to "who my mother and father were." "What" is harder to answer.

Brother Jim

In Kinsale at the Temperance Hall

This morning the Pond is moving - ripples from left to right toward the dam - approximately west to east. It's colder but not in the teens. A beautiful, clear sunny morning. We've had another couple of hard rains - so now we've got a ditch across the driveway that shouldn't be there. Rocks are the answer, I suppose. Anyway, I'm lucky. Brother Jim is arriving today so I'll get his decision. That's one of the beautiful facts about my brother. If something needs to be decided (or done) he is absolutely the most adept at that I know. What takes me days to figure out an answer to, takes him minutes. In no time he's on the telephone and the problem is solved. Honestly, I don't try to save up problems for his arrival, but if one appears a day before his arrival (or maybe several days if I know he's coming) I simply ignore it until he comes. Although, in my defense, I did unstop the toilet in the cabin yesterday! Donna and Steve had already done most of the work with plunger and Drano, I just applied the finishing treatment.

Jim's decision-making is only one of his attributes. The very most important one is: HE STAYS IN TOUCH! I have friends who are not so fortunate with their siblings. I'm reminded of a zen story I read a few days ago - A man complained to the monk, "I can't love my Mother, she won't let me." Tne monk replied, "She can't stop you." Who in your life cannot stop you from loving them?

Just Being Here

It's Sunday morning. My church seems to be here rather than in Greenwood. That happens to me sometimes during meditation and I honor the feeling by remaining at the window for some time to absorb more of the feeling of peace that has arisen. The Pond is perfectly quiet at this moment. Just a short while ago there was a rain shower strong enough to sing its song. But that has been interrupted. Now there is a misty look outside. Perhaps another shower will come. The ducks are hiding. The geese left while it was still dark. It is foggy. An Eastern redcedar (cedar tree, we call them, even though they are not true cedars) standing near the point across the Pond is tall, maybe 20 feet tall, and is reflected in the Pond. It is the only green in that spot. All the other trees have lost their leaves. But the cedar, like pines, holds on to some of its needles all the time. We never see them bare unless they are dead. The incense stick has burned out but the candle still shines its light.

One evening this week, John Wanto introduced me and three others to Reiki with a two-hour session in the Yogatorium and I am excited to have at least a rudimentary understanding of the discipline. Perhaps there is a better word, but I am finding in my search for truth that most new learnings fall into the category of disciplines - at least my understanding of that word fits here. Reiki (ray-kee) is one more way to study the mind-body connection and energy flow. Ahh, another shower, a quiet one. The ducks have parked themselves directly in front of me and are just being there!. So now I will just be here.

Yoga and Weight Loss

Often students ask "Will yoga help me lose weight?" My answer has been similar to what I just read in Reader's Digest in an article about obesity.

Most Americans respect yoga's stress busting and flexibility enhancing power, but not many realize it facilitates weight loss. In fact, a recent study found that yoga devotees have lower body mass index (BMI) than other exercisers do. There are probably multiple reasons. Yoga is best done on an empty stomach and can build muscle (depending on your preferred poses), which boosts your metabolism. And it encourages mindfulness, which includes paying attention to whether you feel full.

In my opinion, the mindfulness training is a key component in the value of yoga in so many life situations - not the least of which is in weight control. Body awareness is a big step in the right direction and in my classes, body awareness is a big concern. We attempt to concentrate on every part of our bodies from the crown of our heads to the toes - and even the internal organs. Learning to eat with attention (awareness) is a big step toward weight control and body happiness! It's a lot easier said than done--especially if you're eating alone as I do most of the time. I find it tempting to turn on the TV or read even while eating a meal and fall into that trap at times. THEN, - when I turn on the TV or read, my mind says - I need food! So when that happens I first eat meals without reading or TV (mindfully, that is) until I find it easier to eliminate eating while watching TV or reading. Does that make sense? For you, it might work better the other way around. The point is, never put food in your mouth without paying attention to what you're doing!!!!! With mindfulness!

We dance around in a ring and suppose

Up this morning at dawn. What a delight to wake up when the world is waking. This morning it is a slow process. No geese honking. Ducks just barely moving around. It rained but is not at the moment. Now the surface of the Pond is still except for an occasional ring that forms when a bird or a bug hits the surface, or perhaps a small fish is coming up for a look-see. All is still gray this morning. Two common grackles are walking the labyrinth where yesterday one of the cats ran around in it A breeze is gently blowing the wind chimes clapper back and forth, but not enough to make a sound at the moment. The only sound is the refrigerator motor. Seeing another ring on the surface of the Pond reminds me of one of my favorite couplets. A Robert Frost thought: We dance around in a ring and suppose, while the Secret sits in the center and knows.

Choosing New Pathways

Today is just an ordinary day. Yoga sessions this morning at 10:30 and this evening at 6:00 - just like Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. Tuesdays two at the church and Fridays and Sundays one at 5:30 in the Yogatorium. I've been following this schedule this first month of 2010 and it has made a huge difference for me. My level of contentment has soared. Students are beginning to ask me if we can continue this schedule in February - and my answer is Yes. This trial month has shown me clearly that I am on the right path. It may change, but for now, this is it.

What a joy to find your right path! It's not easy. I spent days, even weeks, trying to discover what would make me contented and happy at this stage. And, I found it. Meditation and journaling and reading and contemplating - all these tools were used. Basically, though, the important tool running throughout all of these activities is - silence. Earlier writes addressed the silence topic.

One change that has occurred is I am using a new mantra which I was introduced to during my training as an Interspiritual Mentor. Perhaps it will have meaning for you, too. So, here it is: Toward the One/the perfection of love, harmony, and beauty/The only Being/United with all the illuminated souls/Who form the embodiment of the Master/The Spirit of Guidance.

Being What You Are

I have just finished working with Chapter One of A Hidden Wholeness. Since I believe the results are applicable to any spiritual reading one might do, I feel compelled to share with you the results. There are four questions I asked and answered: 1) What words or phrases caught your attention? 2) What memories came up? 3) What is the message in six words or fewer? 4) How does the message you heard relate to your life now? Then in doing the work, being what you are was the short message that came up. From there, I did an exercise answering "What do I care about?" and "What do I not care about?" in an effort to find out who I am. This was all very productive. My time at the window was very enlightening this morning. May your solitude ponderings be helpful for you. May you begin to find the being that you are.

Wow! It's Monday morning and I haven't written since Wednesday. That's an indication of how much has been going on. Friend Faye and I had a beautiful time seeking truth together. And, some truths came that were unexpected but powerful for both of us. I'm still in the study mode - so many books are lying around everywhere - "The Four Agreements" - that one is providing fodder for the Men's Personal Retreat coming up here January 29. Also, Gail Sheehy's "Men's Passages." Then over on the footstool is "A Hidden Wholeness" the study book for Pod 3 members and "Lovingkindness" for Spiritual Sisters group study. On the kitchen table is a whole stack of articles and writings for a "Living Creatively" workshop I'll be doing at Lutheridge in April. Finally, in the storage building is Jim's birthday present - a zafu and zabuton - for sitting in meditation when he comes on the 26th for a few days. So I'm in heaven these days with all the inspiration for study and learning! Somehow, life can't be any better than when I'm occupied this way. And, of course, the yoga sessions continue with new friends arriving weekly!

I'd like to share a mantra I'm using these days - sorry I don't know the source - I learned it during my Interspiritual Mentor training with Joan Borysenko:

Toward the One/ The perfection of Love, Harmony, and Beauty/ The only Being/ United with all the illuminated Souls/Who form the embodiment of the Master/ The Spirit of Guidance.

Well, the sunshine has arrived! And, believe me it is very welcome. The quiet days are over now - friend Faye arrives in a short while and all kinds of conversations and such will be going on - we may even find it warm enough to walk the labyrinth tomorrow. It is so necesary to have visitors. I hadn't mopped the floor in probably three weeks nor cleaned off the table where everything that comes into the cottage ends up - it's now been removed to the second spot - a basket on my bookshelf. That stack gets cleared out about every six months or so.
I'm getting out notices about the "From Stress to Serenity" workshop I'll facilitate on February 13 here. Have a notice on Facebook which is truly fun FINALLY. Still don't know much about what I'm doing with that, but am gradually getting familiar - thanks, Stacey, for your consultation Monday evening.
What would we do without friends? I am so very grateful for mine. One of these days I'm going to make a list of all my friends and how they add joy to my life. One of my dearest friends has invited me to Phoenix for a few days in February. (Actually I invited myself, but she accepted.) Win has been my friend since 1957 or 8 when our husbands were both students at the University of Oregon. I am truly looking forward to remembering all the times we have shared over the years. That - sharing - is what is truly fulfilling even though we've been over all the same events a million times! Somehow in the sharing the events become more real - and probably more exaggerated, too.

Sharing, that's what friends are all about.

Good morning! Another delightfully quiet day beginning at the Window. These past few days have been filled with study and thought and meditation and revelation. I'll share one poem I like particularly - by Hafiz found in "I Heard God Laughing" by Daniel Ladinsky.

Silence

A day of Silence

Can be a pilgrimage in itself.

A day of Silence

Can help you listen

To the Soul play

Its marvelous lute and drum.

Is not most talking

A crazed defense of a crumbling fort?

I thought we came here

To surrender in Silence

To yield to Light and Happiness

To dance within

In celebration of Love's Victory.

It is surprising to me, but I almost regret the very cold days are ending soon. I have been hibernating like a bear - except baking bread, and stuffing myself with cookies and hot green tea and sweet potatoes and greens and black-eyed peas - and napping beneath a wool blanket my brother brought many years ago from Iceland when he was stationed there in the Navy. I've sheltered the two outdoor spicketts (spigots??) with heavy ski mittens old as the hills. Can't imagine why Bob even bought them - maybe when he was doing long walks.

Silence and Stillness in the Cold

Much of the day yesterday I thought about my title of the last post - Be still - Cold feet. What occurred to me is that so often I find people (not just geese) do have cold feet about being still. What is it about stillness and silence that is frightening or uncomfortable? Initially the strangeness of it is what causes anxiety. Stillness and silence are not our natural state in this culture. In stillness we come face to face with our inner Self, our inner Voice, that part of us that is strange, not familiar, but unusual, and therefore disturbing. To us, in stillness it seems we are wasting time, we are not producing. And in America, production is the mantra and the goal. If we are not producing, we are not doing our part.

I am finding, when I am still, new life. In stillness and silence I discover what I need and want, and when and where and how to be. And, if I remain in silence long enough, I hear the why. I begin to intuit something about who I am.

We missed out on the snow. The Pond is frozen over most of the surface. There is a small open space to my left where the ducks are swimming around in a little cove near the peninsula. A low of 15 degrees was predicted for last night - it is 21 now and the highs are in the 30s. It is too cold to be outside more than enough to get up to the Yogatorium and check on the heat. What a blessing to have it warm! This cold weather when we must stay inside presents a golden opportunity to practice silence and stillness. Right now I hear only the fan when the heat comes on and the refrigerator motor occasionally. And, the clicking of the keys as I type my thoughts. What a joy!

Stillness - Cold Feet

At the Window. The Pond is frozen over - as it was the last several days. By noon or early afternoon it has been thawed but with the next cold wave highs in the 30s it will be interesting to see how much thawing occurs. I am struck this morning with the stillness of the Pond. There is no movement on the surface, not even a ripple in the corners where before there has been a small thawed area. How rare it is to see stillness. Even in stillness, my fingers are moving. And so it is most of the time. But this morning, even the candle flame is not wavering. Only my fingers. I pause occasionally and sense the deep stillness the cold brings. I am eager for the dawn tomorrow - snow will be on the ground. Since I am warm and safe, I pray it will actually cover the earth with a white blanket. We rarely experience that beauty here. At the same time, even now, I pray those who are not warm will find shelter and warmth soon. A few days ago I stopped by the Faith Home store in Ninety Six and dropped off some coats. Today, I'll drop off a few more. I have been shocked to realize how many jackets and coats I own! I'm even wearing about six different ones from time to time just for the fun of it! There are at least four more in the storage shed that will not be there any longer after today. And stocking caps and mittens and gloves and scarves! What abundance!

Write it Down, Make it Happen

Seems strange that I didn't write a blog post since New Year's Eve. But, much has been going on. I drove to Atlanta on New Year's Eve and spent the night in a lovely Marriott on Windward Parkway. Leo Gasper, a faithful cousin, and his fiance Amy held a beautiful celebration for their upcoming wedding. True to the invitation, we drank, danced, and dined all evening! First time I've been to such a gala in probably 30 years - maybe ever! The loveliest part was renewing acquaintance with FAMILY!
Upon returning home I spent the next two days in deep introspection meditating, journaling, and just sitting and being quiet anticipating the new year. This always allows me the opportunity to make changes and so I have begun. My true love is yoga. I get my biggest pleasure from sharing yoga with those who join me at the Yogatorium and others who join me at Immanuel Lutheran Church (my home church since I was a child) on Tuesday evenings. What I realized is that I wanted to once again submerge myself in meditation and asanas and study. To make it more likely to occur, I issued a new schedule for the Yogatorium offering sessions every day of the week except Tuesdays when we meet at the church. I'll be in yoga for two hours or more 5 days and one on Fridays and Sundays. This means on most days my days begin and end with yoga. I don't know that this will be my schedule after the month of January, but we'll see. One of my happiest years recently was last year during my yoga teacher training which involved a similar schedule - that is LOTS OF YOGA.
Why am I blogging this? In part, for my own satsfaction and inspiration to do what I plan. I have long believed that writing it down makes it happen. Try it. I am a great believer in COMMITMENT and CHANGE.
On a lighter note, it has been very cold. So, part of my time has been spent in making buildings warm. Getting new storm windows up, installing plastic on the inside of the windows, moving heaters around. I had hoped the cold spell (in the teens at night) would end before now, but we've got several more days of it coming in this spell and no doubt others will arrive. My primary thought during all this is my gratitude for being warm and my plea for God's help for those who are cold.
Time for hot green tea! Have a happy day!