Techie troubles

Why is it that just when I get somewhat adept at using my techie stuff - MacPro laptop and  iPhone 5 - changes occur - seemingly for no rhyme nor reason - except my bad habit of punching without knowing what will happen when I punch.  Just yesterday I figured out (with Luke's help) how to google a question and get an answer for anything I could think up - in particular, no sound alert for text msgs.  I was not the only one with the problem - a whole string of replies came up from others who had the same problem and in most cases offered solutions.  Well, the reset solution worked BUT now everything looks a bit different and I can't figure out how to use the microphone to text - which I had just learned how to do two days ago.  Now the screen looks very different and there is even a different voice talking back to me.  How can she get Kate Taylor on face something or another (MY UGLY face showing up) when I asked her to text Todd Kaufman?  Answer that for me!  Luke assures me the voice will soon learn to understand my speech - BUT not if the voice keeps changing!!!  Another bothersome thing - Why is it that there are always FEMALE voices talking and you have to know how to do it to get it changed to a male voice.  I don't want to spend all my time with females!  Especially if I'm gonna pay for it - I want a man to talk to me!  Sam found one for me but when I reset everything I lost him and now some broad is back talking to me.