The New Toy

Well, we are with it now.  The instruction manuals are lying all around the room.  Cords are connecting  computer and mobile hotspot and router and television somehow.  Perhaps a modem is needed?  I thought this was a "smart TV". How come it needs all these helpers?  We do now know how to use the Guide to scroll through what's available MAYBE.  We actually watched a movie on HBO which is free for three months.  Already I can see we need to pay for recording also.  It's much more fun watching a movie together and just the first night I had to teach a class so Frank tried recording the movie.  Whether or not that worked, we haven't yet discovered.  Still don't know how to find "Person of Interest" so we can watch it.  I believe it's on CBS, but how do we discover when and where it is?  My smart phone helper tells me it's CBS but haven't yet found the time and day?  ……..What a challenge this is but what a joy also.  We watched Steel Magnolias last night long enough to get lots of laughs and remember the story.  Clearly I've got to get out my knitting again.  Ohhhhhh!  I just remembered, I think there is a piece of something covering the screen.  Do we take it off or leave it on? Decisions.   Decisions.  We just added a whole world of new ones to our lives.  But, we also added a whole new area of learning to keep our brains functioning for several months figuring out how to use this new toy.

Breathing out, I smile.

I have finally purchased a television... sooper-dooper 50-inch hifalutin do everything "smart" one.  And the installer is at work this morning.  We'll see how much it will do down here in this low spot now where reception is certainly not the best.  Glad it's a rainy day again so I'm happy to stay inside.  The Pond is still overfull and emptying.  ………... Been reading some more Rumi and beginning to feel comfortable with it.  But, my favorite at the moment is from Thich Nhat Hanh's "Peace is Every Step."  Best lesson for now comes in this exercise to help us breathe consciously:  Breathing in, I calm my body.  Breathing out, I smile.  Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment!.  I'm adopting the first two sentences as a daily practice, if not more often.  This is an especially useful practice for a  "happiness specialist."

Second Rain

Here is the road into the Yogatorium and my home

during the rain on Monday and the same stretch of driveway with a new culvert and two dump truck loads of crusher run following a lot of earth moving yesterday afternoon!  Some of you drove over and through the washed-out portion Monday evening to come to yoga class.  What heroes you are!  Also, a photo of the spillway spilling during the rain on Monday.  The labyrinth is to the right in the background.

Chris Bates - Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth…….
This morning's reading is a poem "Kindness" by Naomi Shihab Nye.  It speaks to me directly with regard to Chris's passing.  Here is more
….Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing……
Then it is only kindness that makes any sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes………
Only now I realize that I am feeling the loss of Chris as if he were one of my two sons.
I honor Chris for the sorrow and the resulting kindness I am feeling.

Back at the Pond

Just for fun, here's Frank demonstrating how much he truly hates yoga! Click to see his facial expression?

I know everyone is probably tired of seeing fall colors, but I must add this one - a pistachio nut tree my father bought probably 50 years ago and planted up at the big house where they then lived.  Later transplanted some to the house where they lived the last years here, and I now live, beside the Pond.  No, it doesn't bear nuts, but the leaves are always spectacularly red in the fall.

One Week Later

Last night I had a very useful phone conversation with my friend, Faye, who has been a grief counselor for many years.  Her words were very helpful.  I do believe the loss of a child is a terrible hurt that never totally ends.  "Getting over it" is not going to happen.  So, the work is to recognize that, accept it, and live with it.  I am surprised at how deeply I feel Chris's death.  Perhaps if I didn't have sons myself, I could be less affected.  My heart goes out to Justin, Donna, and Steve.  This morning, in that order.  At other times, I change the order, but not the depth.  I will keep sending positive energy to each of you.

Mourning and Praising

Yesterday was a rainy one all day long which fit my mood of mourning.  It was a good one.  A necessary one.  And there will be many more such days.  But today I am returning to doing stuff.  Getting the 4-Runner to the shop for a day of maintenance work.  Yoga class tonight.  Fittingly, no one came to class yesterday morning so my only personal contact all day long was with Frank who was also "heavy-hearted."  We felt sorrow - especially for Steve, Donna and Justin.  I can only imagine how heavy-hearted they are.  My most dreadful fear for the past fifty-one years has been some catastrophic occurrence happening to one of my two sons who are now 49 and 50.  (Tate will be 51 Nov. 18.  Luke is 49 as of October 24. )  I thank God every day for their presence in my life.