One Week Later

Last night I had a very useful phone conversation with my friend, Faye, who has been a grief counselor for many years.  Her words were very helpful.  I do believe the loss of a child is a terrible hurt that never totally ends.  "Getting over it" is not going to happen.  So, the work is to recognize that, accept it, and live with it.  I am surprised at how deeply I feel Chris's death.  Perhaps if I didn't have sons myself, I could be less affected.  My heart goes out to Justin, Donna, and Steve.  This morning, in that order.  At other times, I change the order, but not the depth.  I will keep sending positive energy to each of you.

Mourning and Praising

Yesterday was a rainy one all day long which fit my mood of mourning.  It was a good one.  A necessary one.  And there will be many more such days.  But today I am returning to doing stuff.  Getting the 4-Runner to the shop for a day of maintenance work.  Yoga class tonight.  Fittingly, no one came to class yesterday morning so my only personal contact all day long was with Frank who was also "heavy-hearted."  We felt sorrow - especially for Steve, Donna and Justin.  I can only imagine how heavy-hearted they are.  My most dreadful fear for the past fifty-one years has been some catastrophic occurrence happening to one of my two sons who are now 49 and 50.  (Tate will be 51 Nov. 18.  Luke is 49 as of October 24. )  I thank God every day for their presence in my life.  

Chris Bates

Just when we think life is settling into something of a routine, LIFE happens.  Mother's companion, Helen, once said to me "Dying is a part of living."  On last Thursday, my niece Donna's son Chris was killed in a bicycle/minivan wreck.  These past few days were beautiful beyond belief.  So many hearts have been bleeding, but together.  It has been a sad time, too, of course.  But there is also a deep connection of all who knew and love Chris that is heartwarming.  I know Chris is glad knowing all of us are celebrating his life and sending our positive energies to accompany his soul's journey.

Two Kinds of Stuff

Read this just now in Reader's Digest and must share with you:
We have a tendency to define ourselves in opposition to stuff…But try to also express your passion for things you love.  Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire.  Send thank-you cards and give standing ovations.  Be pro-stuff, not just anti-stuff.  Last night's engagement party for John and Gabriela ended with a gift of many potted flowers to be shared.  I, for one, will be grateful every time I look at those I received.  And, remember the delightful celebration of their love for each other.  See Grace Contreras photos on fb.

Final Stages of Moving

Finally getting close to emptying the house at Penrose.   Yesterday was a rainy one so we shifted our work to inside and filled all the boxes we had left.  Today we'll pack up the vehicles and head back to the Pond for a few days again.  It is a remarkable thing, leaving a home of twenty years.  The most difficult part of emptying it is the decision-making process. Frank has been very willing to discard stuff and that makes it easier.   Finally it is getting easy to just pack up everything and get out.  We've already eliminated truck loads of stuff and given it away or sold it and now we're just moving everything - either to the Pond or to a recycling center.  All the furniture except one bed and one recliner is gone.  Now we'll even empty the refrigerator and pantry and make one-night stands when we return instead of several days at a time.

Toys and Mushrooms

Cleaning and Clearing still in Penrose.  Here's the most favored vehicle - a 1993 Jimmy upon which Frank has labored many hours of love - off to the mechanic to get it running and then for sale.  Some of the "getting rid of" is easy, but this one is tough.  Still, it's hard to justify a man with three vehicles, even if one is really a toy  At least it's hard for HIM.. ……Perhaps more interesting is the very unusual mushroom I saw at the Cottage yesterday morning….The yard has many different fungi that I've never noticed before.  Strange how many more noticings  I'm  doing as I live longer.  Trying to learn to spend more time in the NOW, the present moment, and let the past and the present handle themselves.  Somehow they do just fine without my interference.  Today is rainy in NC and I'm due for a nice long day of interspersing reading in the one comfortable chair left here, a recliner.  

Two More Pond Photos

Last evening - the cottage dock almost out of the water - from the edge where there are still remnants of grasses that will soon disappear from the scene.  And still the siphon is at work - sounds like a waterfall!

More on The Pond

Here's a few more photos taken this morning.  The second one shows the siphoned off water exploding into the air on the back side of the dam.  Third one shows the spillway a few hours before the water crept across in one tiny rivulet, but no more.  Now we're at the point where we can begin to see more land all around the pond - still about 6 more inches too full.  Siphon still working like a charm.

The Pond is FULL

The Pond was filled last night.  Now, it is about 8 inches above full pool with the threat of going over the spillway if it rises another few inches.  The drain pipe is working overtime with a huge fountain of water pouring out the back side about the size of four broken water hydrants spouting forth.  Here are a few photos.