Day 31 - Litchfield Beach

It's hard to believe the month is over.  Will leave in the morning so today is one of just sitting here and relishing the environment one last day.  Brother Jim left an hour ago to return home to Hilton Head.  We had a delightful time together as we always do.  I'll be hoping to see him at the Pond sometime in January………Words fail me.   I'm simply being.   It's as though time is standing still.  Not an unpleasant feeling but unusual.  It's almost as if I'm still in my meditation state - which ended I thought an hour ago.

Day 29 - Final Draft of the Month

Well, here it is Sunday morning and a huge storm is raging - see the windswept palmetto tree!  The wind and rain should stop by mid afternoon when Jim is scheduled to arrive.  Just a few minutes ago I finished the third draft for this month.  I've got it on a thumb drive and ready to go to Office Depot and have it printed - don't know if I'll look at it again before I pass it on to another reader.   This has been a truly productive month and actually even FUN.   Who knows, maybe I'll turn into an author yet!  Certainly the setting for my work has been perfect.  Won't get onto the beach today, but haven't missed but one day yet.  A wonderful way to break between writings.  Perhaps you'll enjoy a small write I did in my journal a couple days ago:
Ocean waves scream to shore
Sunlight streams toward me
a pathway
to where?
to what?
Light
Infinity
my Self

Six and Six

Spirit works in mysterious ways.  During my meditation this morning a new title for my book came to me - "Six and Six for a Happy Life. "    Intrigued?  The whole book is about the six activities and six values that make me happy.  Now, what does Spirit have to do with this?  As I sat watching the sun begin to peek over the horizon, six pelicans flew south right in front of my glass door  (which faces due east)  over the water only a short distance away from the shore.  This confirmed my choice of words.   But, what is particularly interesting, a few minutes later, five flew back north.  What does that mean?  For weeks I've been cogitating about one of the six values - control.  I mean to write the next book about how my values have changed over the last couple of years while I studied the Medicine Wheel and became a trained shaman.   What has changed?  Control has been changed from trying to control everyone else and instead controlling my ego.  A new value has become paramount - compassion - it will replace control.  I expect I will find many of the other values have morphed into something a bit different, perhaps drastically different in the last 15 years even though they have worked perfectly during that period.  But, I must STOP looking into the future and FINISH this book! Sometimes, I get things turned upside down.

Haymonds on Christmas Day 2013

Well, here we are - having fun as usual. There is a more sophisticated photo but this one is more fun.
Christmas Eve parties were truly fun, but there's nothing like having the whole family together in one place - and it was especially convenient to have Muriel there to be the photographer!  You're looking at my two sons, their wives, and my five grandchildren.  And, all of them are much better looking than they appear here!  I pray all of you had just as much fun together with whoever was in your presence.  (whomever?)  I'm back at the cottage after napping off all the brunch food and champagne and the drive back was a piece of cake.  Almost nobody was on the roads either on the 23rd or today!  Hope it's as easy driving back to the beach in the morning.  Happy Holidays!

Christmas Day

Greetings!  I woke early when I heard Santa's reindeer prancing around on the roof.   Everyone else here is still asleep - the kids are 14 and older now, but they promised we would meet at the tree at 7:30. Here's a photo of my first-born Tate and me hamming it up at a neighborhood party last evening where we had just popped poppers and everyone is wearing the enclosed "hats".  Tate's split because, as he said, "the more I think the tighter the hatband becomes till it finally began to split."  Count on Tate to get serious enough to actually THINK at a party.  We had a grand time with the whole fifty or so of us participating in singing the Twelve Days of Christmas as a sort of a round with different groups portraying the individual animals, etc.  FUN!  Mrs. Santa Claus also visited and led the game. ……prior to the party, I enjoyed a beautiful celebration at the Methodist church Luke's family belongs to along with Susan's mother, Muriel, who drives up from The Villages each Christmas.  We'll all be together for brunch at Luke and Susan's at 11:00 and opening our Secret Santa presents.  I'll probably take a short nap before driving back to the Cottage for the night and return to Litchfield till January 1.  I am now ready to begin editing the new latest draft (I've lost count now).  LIFE IS GOOD!

Day 20 - Pelicans, Cryptique Board, etc.

Guests left so I'm back at the writing big time.  Spent an hour on the beach in a chair editing and soaking up sun at the same time.  Otherwise, nose to the grindstone inside.  Strange how easy it was to get back to it.  And, actually I'm enjoying it.  While guests were here Jesse helped get a new website initiated for me and the photo was taken by him.  Isn't it amazing what one can do with a computer!……. It's been really amazing watching pelicans migrating.  One morning there were six or seven groups of as many as 20 of them all flying south right by my window!  Each day for the last week anyway there have been groups all flying south.  Surely some will stay behind?……Yesterday was a detoxing day - been absolutely totally disregarding good food habits too long so went for just liquids yesterday and feel much better today.  (No, no wine, no beer, just good stuff.) . . . Found a "Cryptique" board here and a couple of good session with it while guests were here - very similar to Ouija boards - hadn't used one of them in ages - fun to get answers to my questions!  Much quicker than meditating for hours on end!  But, I'm still at that, too.  Become pretty natural feeling at this point.  Still not able to say I'm "blissed" out, but some peaceful moments.

Day 18 - Guests Again

Got in a couple days of hard writing beginning editing of what I had printed and then….Hallelujah!  Todd, his son Jesse and Joice, Jesse's wife, arrived last evening for a couple days of helping me relax and get ready for another focused writing period before Christmas.  Here's Jesse and Todd at work on computer problems.  What would we do without our kids to help us handle these hi-tech tools!  Joice completed the jigsaw puzzle - which took me four evenings to complete last week! - and so today we'll continue with who knows what?  Tune in tomorrow for more exciting adventures of Jaquie at Litchfield Beach.

Day 16 - 148 pages in a notebook

Yesterday was a big leap forward!  All by myself, I finally figured out how to make pdf files, get them onto a flash drive, and get all 148 pages printed at Office Depot - they are neatly arranged in a notebook - the meat of the book - now need an intro chapter and contents page and it will really look like a book!  (This is the former title, 4th or 5th one by now).  Already I've made deletions and changes in the first 4 pages - so I have much more work to do.  But at least I've got something beginning to resemble a book!  This is the 5th time I've done this so far.  By now it doesn't bear much resemblance to the first draft. . . To celebrate I got my hair split ends trimmed off at Great Clips and then to Wal-mart and bought some new undies, a candle,  and a new watch - old one died a few days ago.  Since the band was worn out and the new watch was only $26 I replaced the thing. . . .Still a bit cool, in the fifties, but looks like back into the 70s by the weekend!  WHEE - more time sitting on the beach in the sun.  Last week I actually got pink feet!   Amazing how rapidly the tan disappears. . . . . Fun watching the pelicans all fly south in straight lines - several groups do that in the mornings.  Need to watch to see if they fly back north in the evenings? . . . Disappointed to find the local coffee shop is closing.   A neat place for coffee  or tea or ice-cream and sitting on couches and reading - but enough business - so they're moving up to Surfside and selling out stuff.  Got a beautiful red hurricane-lamp-type vase for a buck - the Wal-mart candle looks serene therein.   Time to get to work.

Brookgreen Gardens

Last evening Sara and I joined hundreds of other people walking through the sculpture gardens and enjoying  a wandering bagpiper, an Irish group, and carolers along with other musical groups.  The photo of Sara photoing the tree gives you just a tiny idea of what we beheld!  50 acres of sculpture gardens with over 5000 candles. All the walks were lined with luminarias and volunteers were busily lighting them as we got there a bit before dark.  And unbelievable electric lights (such as these strung from the live oak trees).  It was truly a magical place and time.    We ended the evening with shrimp and grits and hot chocolate in a tent set up specifically to feed the hundreds.  Many different caterers were serving a multitude of great food!  We agreed that the remarkable thing was how well organized the whole affair was and how very pleasant all the people were - both the guests and the servers and other workers.  First rate - as, of course, Brookgreen Gardens always is.

Gray Morning

Supposed to be a rainy day today - began very gray - here's my thoughts:

A Gray Morning

A calm
Sun is sleeping
All is quiet
except
ocean waves from afar
reach in and speak
break loose
and dissolve
into the smooth sand.
Energy 
from the other edge
feeding my soul. 

Day 13 at Litchfield Beach -

All twelve sections of the book have now been edited on the computer!  On my way today to get  it printed so I can begin handling paper.  Still need Introduction section and perhaps an Afterword.  Sara's arrival last night is a JOY!  Hadn't had a conversation since December 1 when I left the Pond for the beach - other than with the desk clerk here when I checked in and a brief Hello each morning when I collect my breakfast items and come back to my villa.  Time for some communication and Sara makes the best kind - the wine last night helped, of course.    Sara's recuperating now with her glass of tea on the porch while I finish up morning post and then we go find Office Depot.  Already Sara is talking about renting a villa here in January!

Foggy then BRIGHT

You gotta see the difference in yesterday's fog and this morning's bright sun.  Unbelievable!  All day yesterday truly thick fog blanketed the whole area.   Today it's cold, but even through the screen - bright sunlight!   All is going well.  Good writing both days - today's the most fun - writing about reading romance novels and my sex life!  Such as it was  and isn't!  Two more sections out of the 12 to go now - travel and center stage.  Hope to get those today - writing seems to be accelerating with practice.  Or, maybe I'm just eager to get it over with?  Not really.  This is a totally fun trip I'm on. Do miss the yoga - only done one session since I came but will get in another today - neck is getting stiff.  Too much hunching over the laptop. Have to keep reminding myself to lower my shoulders and stretch out my neck.    Time to get back to it.

Day 10 Writing at Litchfield

The last four days have been very productive.  I've now finished this draft (6th one) of 8 sections out of 12.  I'm at the point where I'll be looking for a place to print out these and feel safe trashing the earlier 5 drafts of this stuff.  It is becoming easier to trash as I discover how much material I've created - probably still hanging on to too much, but that's not the point at this stage.  My goal is to get all sections perused, edited, and together in one file so that it begins to actually look like a book rather than a loose collection of possibly related writings.  I'm somewhat disheartened at times at the length of time I've already spent on this project - 3 years? -   and then I recall Joan Borysenko telling me her first book went through 14 drafts!  Fourteen!  By the way, I still think her first is her best.  "Minding the Body, Mending the Mind" is by far my favorite…….I also remember another author saying in answer to the question "How long did it take you to write this book?"  ----"40 years."  It was his first best-seller.  Perhaps more interesting to me this morning is how much I am enjoying waking and writing at whatever hour - 5:30 this morning.  At first awakening, the words flow so much more freely than after I've gotten distracted by some need - like the propane gas bill at home I had to argue about by phone yesterday.  When the distractions occur, I take a walk on the beach to recover my freedom.  Here's one more photo of serenity.  To be colder the next few days, so walks may be shorter - but still, the gentle roar of the waves crashing onto the shore is a constant thing here - inside my villa I'm only about 25 yards from the water.

Beach Findings - Day 6

Each day I find a surprise on the beach.  Today it was many small stones.  Yesterday it was a pretty-well-intact sea urchin, a strange 3-cornered stone, and an intact pen shell, both halves attached. My guidebook says you must be lucky to find one half of a pen shell intact, and you are "very lucky" to find both halves attached.  The shell is very thin and about 6 inches long. On the sea urchin, the tiny hole at the top is the anus, the mouth is on the down side.  That's the camera strap in the lower right corner.  The stones are new to me.  Don't recall ever seeing stones on a South Carolina beach before.  I'll try to get a photo of them tomorrow.   Wonder where they come from?  The ones I picked up today are smooth and mostly yellow-tan in color……..  Writing is still going well.  But today was such a beauty I spent several hours sitting on the beach reading a romance novel and soaking up the sun - too nice to be inside, especially since forecast looks like tomorrow will still be nice, but probably some rain and then - Sunday will be very much colder.

Early Morning Fog at the Beach - Day 5

If I didn't know better I'd think I woke up in London!  A thick fog.  Sun has been trying to break through for a while but still hasn't made it except for a few moments at a time.  Then when I walked over to get my complimentary instant oatmeal, cereal bars, frozen strawberries, sweetened yogurt, etc. I remembered Eugene, Oregon - how miserably gray it was for nine months out of the year.   Not foggy, but drizzling rain from September to May - not even enough for an umbrella for the locals, which I became rather soon when I discovered I was the only one carrying an umbrella.  Still enough for the clothes to always be damp and the closets full of mildew.  Once I swore I'd go back sometime when we had enough money to afford a dehumidifier!   Anyway, this is now beginning to clear and will be in the 70s again today.  Here's my screened porch which runs in front of the living area and master bedroom.  There are two more chairs to the left outside of the photo.  Writing is going very well.

Book Work

It's working!  I have now developed a plan that appears to be workable.   Finally have a solid table of contents and a pattern for sifting through the dozens of pages of writing that have lain dormant for more than a year and actually pieced one set ( 1 of 12 sections) together and have it in a new file on my computer fit for someone to read!  So, with that accomplished, a plan, I should be able to make much more rapid progress.  Had two nice 30-minute rapid-fire walks on the beach (74 degrees) a good meditation this morning, and another romance novel I can begin tonight!  What more could a woman ask for?  Oh, I have that too - some scrumptious German Chocolate   SO delicious dairy free coconut milk frozen dessert!  soy and dairy free - to die for!  Soo delicious I only ate about a 1/2 cup last evening.  Also, of course, a bit expensive.  Anyhow, all is well here - three more days of near 80 degree weather!  Hopefully not so much wind tomorrow so I can sit on the beach and roast my winter body in between work sessions.

Rising Sun at Litchfield Beach

Meditations are going very well - First evening one, yesterday.  Here's what I saw this morning from my bench.  And yesterday afternoon at low tide - facing south - my villa is just this side of the tower building.  A few walkers and runners but not often or many.  Did finally get a bit of writing done - first day, so not astoundingly interesting, but a start.  Also read a good romance novel, so I'm fired up now.

Remembering

A poem following a meditation:

Remembering

At last I see colors
Pink dots
Four, then two
then four again
Become baby blue
then tiny white lights.
Feminine and masculine  
into Me?
Am I remembering?

Thanksgiving Day After

Day after Thanksgiving was a winner!  Began with coffee and tea and watching two deer eating acorns on the dam very near the cottage - closer than I've ever seen them before.  The weather was perfect for all to be outside.  Sam even took a pedal boat ride - didn't dock it well - drifted out into the Pond and finally back to shore at the dam where the boys rescued it.  Air rifles were out and empty cans on benches around the fire pit and cups hanging from tree limbs were great targets.  Hammock was powerful tool with all 5 grandkids dumping each other out!   Usually 3 at a time in the hammock.

 Wisteria was finally pruned and burned in the pit.  Red maple blocking the view from the swing and chairs was removed and added more fuel to the fire.  Walker and Tate were fire lords.  Great aid in getting a serious fire going was old peanut oil from turkey frying years past - probably 5 years old! - also added a great aroma - like roasted peanuts.  

Jack, Luke and Sam used the hammock as it was intended.

Girls all went shopping - except Grandma who stayed behind to enjoy sons and grandchildren (not a shopper anymore anyway).

Night Before Thanksgiving Fun

First photos - all getting ready to leave for Hwy 25 Auto Drive-in movies and supper!

Kelsey and Sydney

Tradition

Just completed my share of the food preparation:  cranberry salad (which nobody eats but everyone insists we must have it - after all my mother always served it - with mayonnaise on lettuce - and nobody ate it then either!  Pecan pie - Luke's request.  Sweet potatoes and apples baked together - (recipe Sara cooked a couple weekends ago and we agreed it had to become a Thanksgiving staple).  Gravy (actually made ahead of time with chicken drippings and hard boiled eggs included but no gizzard, liver, etc.).  Collards (a new addition a couple years ago when we discovered everybody loved Jaquie's collards).  Cornbread (for the dressing which Luke and others will put together tomorrow.0  Ambrosia (not the kind my grandmother made with real oranges - how I loved watching her peel the oranges with a paring knife and get ALL the white off along with the spiral of peel.  Instead, this is canned mandarin oranges, crushed pineapple, tiny marshmallows, coconut and sour cream - with a bit of yogurt thrown in for good measure - but I won't tell the family!  Tomorrow comes the injected turkeys (two this year - the children are all grown up now and they do EAT) and baked ham - whipped cream (for what? - just to eat) and cherry o'cheese pies (made by the kids), and oh yes, the chex mix I made a couple days ago - already we're eating on that - a family tradition from waaaaaayyyy back.  Right now Luke's family has gone into town to lunch at Skin's - one of his family traditions dating back to Clemson life.  Tate's family is on its way from Atlanta.  Tonight, a trip to the Highwaty 25 Drive-in theater a recent tradition from about 4 years back.  And, so it goes.  …….How can anyone NOT love Thanksgiving and family and actually having everyone together - all ten of us!  The kids sleep in the Yogatorium -all five of them, Tate and Wendy get the Love Shack (cabin) this year, and the rest of us in my cottage.  It's great fun communicating between three buildings!!!  Time's up - they're back from town.

Writing

Well, so much for being able to eat outside Thanksgiving Day!  Looks like the cold is coming to stay for a while.  So, the ten of us will spend much time inside buildings.  Just hope it's warm enough for the boys to fish - one of their most fun things to do - besides riding on the Pond in the pedal boat or the canoe.  This year we'll find out just how hardy they are………A bit of philosophy from the book, This I Believe, an essay written by Mel Rusnov:  I believe we are more than the inhabitants of our cubicles….I believe we are transformed and connected by the power and beauty of our creativity. And I believe I owe it to my True Self and the Universe to be creative and connected.  This is my reason for spending December in near isolation at the beach. ……..        I will be busy with yoga, meditation,  breathing exercises, reading, walking the beach, mentally riding the waves as they move in and out,  long hot baths, naps on the couch, and the birds - soaring with the birds.  And hopefully occasional visits by friends to break the pattern, relieve the pressure,  and inspire.  All of this is designed to produce writing.  Writing is one of the most difficult creative activities I attempt.  For a couple of years now I have been working on a memoir. …actually mostly NOT working…... It is time to make a book.  I'm not going until Sunday after Thanksgiving, but I have begun filling a box with tools for writing.  More importantly, I have begun preparing my mind and my soul for the adventure.

Stillness

Once again this morning, I'm compelled to write from within.

Stillness

Rain fell last night
Blood of Mother Earth
Everything is shiny on the surface
But the air,
the space between, 
is milky gray
Quiet

As I sit, 
the candle flame is two
in the double-paned window.
Why am I not two?
Where is my Self?

A brown leaf of the post oak wobbles
One tiny branch of the willow oak 
moves tentatively
as if a Being is touching it.
My squirrel moves in jerks
stopping, sitting, eating, hoarding.

All else is still.
I hear the wind
blowing softly from my CD
but not a sound from outside.
Winter is coming. 

Shedding Leaves

Can't resist showing you a couple more photos of the deck - both of which were taken from inside the Yogatorium.  Also want to share with you a write I did following my meditation yesterday morning.
I watch as leaves fall from the trees
Yellows and browns mostly.
Brown leaves still bound to an oak.

Soon all shedding will be done
except for the beeches.

How like what I'm doing!
Shedding my old beliefs,
All those ideas I gathered
from other human beings
as I learned to fit in.

I'm shedding my learned leaves
For new green ones to come later -
Remembered.
Winter is on its way
when shedding will end
And I'll stand bare,
buck-naked
Free of the tribe's teachings
Empty, clean, available
Like the trees
not dead  - resting, waiting.

I'll wait with the trees in readiness for Spring
Gathering energy and strength
as I sit tall and still and quiet.
Listening
for the wind and the owls
Watching
squirrels and deer and songbirds
for clues.
Feeling the cold of the nights
Knowing
Hearing
Sensing
Within my Body.
Time circles
I disappear 
to become.

Yogatorium Deck photo

Here's a new photo of the deck I took tonight from the highest of the three levels..  It is absolutely stunning and will clearly be one of the best additions to our facilities.  The edges of the three levels are visually outlined with small stones to keep me from stumbling - so far I'm the only one who has - I'm always looking up instead of down.  I'll be facilitating more events in the 2014 year and this deck will make them much more enjoyable.  This is looking north to the fire pit, hammock, pond, and labyrinth.  If you haven't yet visited, come see!  Classes still going all this week and next Monday.  Possibly even Saturday after Thanksgiving if anyone is interested. My family plans to be gone by then.  Either way, I'll be here. Give me a call if you want to do one last class before I leave on Sunday after Thanksgiving.

Fox Theater Outing

BUSY week!  So much happening it's hard for me to even remember it all.  Biggest project - on my MacBook Pro I created an ad for Greenwood Magazine and actually sent it to the publisher!  Hope it will come out in January.  This creation took several days including a session with the techie at Apple Store in Greenville.  But, it's done!  One of those things I'd been "planning" for months……Next biggest thing - drove to Atlanta after yoga class on Saturday and Luke and I went out to dinner at Marlow's Tavern and then over to the Fox Theater for Celtic Thunder concert on Saturday night.  Some of you have already seen the photo on Facebook, but here it is again for the record.  …...Then, yesterday I drove back home from Atlanta for spiritual group meeting at 2:30 and fire ceremony/druming circle last evening.  Spirit was with us!  The rain was only a few drops - nothing to interfere with the event!  Life is good!

Filling Your Well

I have spent many, many hours over the last 24 working on an ad.  Don't know when I'll be satisfied with the collage of photos I'm putting together, but getting better as I go.  Of course, this is fun for me, even though challenging and frustrating and all those other emotions that come up when one is trying to be creative.  So, I'll have to spend some time "filling my well", as Julia Cameron writes in The Artist's Way.  If you have never read that book, you should.  I'll lend you my copy if you like.  Filling my well can occur from many different activities:  meditation, walking, sleeping and dreaming (especially in the hammock), listening to music, eating chocolate and/or ice cream, traveling, reading romance novels, knitting, sewing, breathing practices, and, of course, yoga asanas.  Sometimes, just sitting in my swing chair on the screen porch.  What fills your well?

That was then.This is now.

Busy fun weekend!  Lots of shamanism activities - all three of us, Sara, Faye, and I learned stuff we didn't know before!!! This going inward is a truly enlightening experience.  I'm ready to help you whenever you're ready.  (I just completed my "Healing the Light Body School" of The Four Winds Society and so am a certified shaman.)  ……...One of the major mantras I came up with is "That was then, this is now."  I healed a trauma from my 16-year-old head and now can live without the hangup.  It's truly amazing how different I feel.  And, what is happening to me is, I'm recognizing how many seemingly unimportant "imprints" in my body are not unimportant at all - but crucial to my happiness.  Soon, I'll get another session and see what comes from it!   ,………NEXT, you will truly want to be here Sunday evening at 6 pm.  We will actually be able to SEE the full moon this time.   It won't be hiding behind the trees.  So, plan to BE HERE!  Note the time change - it's now at 6 pm.  If you wish, come earlier and walk the labyrinth at your leisure.  Getting pretty dark by 6.  The fire pit has been moved to the North side of the Yogatorium - between the building and the dam.  You'll find us there.

Friends

Tonight my friend Sara is driving in from Wilmington, NC for the weekend.  Tomorrow morning Faye will drive here from Hendersonville, NC and the three of us will have a retreat here as we do three or four times each year.  We are three of our six pod sisters who met in 2005 as students in the Claritas Institute for Interspiritual Mentoring which Joan Borysenko initiated  and led.  It was a turning point in the spiritual life of each of us.  And, it melded us together into a pod of truly loving friends for life!  (The other 3 are involved with stuff this weekend that prevents them from being here.)  ….It's times like this when I wish I were a poet.  Friends have become so important to me - relationships is what life is truly all about.  Although I love my isolation times, they would be worthless, worse than that, useless at best, heartbreaking more likely.  The isolation periods give me the time to process what is going on in my life and grasp the deepest meaning of it all.  At the moment, FRIENDS.  Otherwise, they just disappear from my screen.  …..This act of learning as a shaman to "dance between the visible and invisible worlds" is clearly the most important facet of my life now, the most rewarding, and perhaps the most difficult.  But, it is coming.  I am almost daily now seeing improvement, progress, and joy in the acts of attention to the game.   I am so fortunate to be able to share my new learnings this weekend with friends who care.

Day Off to Just Be

Here it is already Wednesday!  Mondays and Tuesdays are truly full with two yoga classes each day - plus my morning 1-hour meditation.  So, today is my "day off."  I'm still overcome with the beauty of this month.  The tree leaves are constantly drawing my eyes from one to the other.  There is a red maple on the dam with FOUR different colors of leaves on it!  Red, orange, yellow, green, and now BROWN!  It seems incredible even though I'm looking right at it!  There is an oak behind the Yogatorium that has one whole branch of brown leaves and the others are still yellows.  The dam is covered with a deep mat of leaves - so much so the tree roots that normally try to trip me up are buried. The view into the woods is becoming more open each day as the leaves fall.  Soon, we will be able to see deeply into the woods through the trees past the old outhouse even.  …….Yesterday workmen insulated the Cabin so it will be reasonably comfortable even in the winter months.  Always before it was so cold one might as well be outside sleeping on the porch!  The fire ants are still active - had to buy more powder yesterday at the co-op to try to clean them out of my monkey grass border - they have already done much damage to the root systems - may even have to replace some as time goes by.  You would think they would be happy enough with the grass areas, but this year they have invaded my  flower beds.  Enough.  As you can tell, this is truly my day off - a time to JUST BE!  Come try it sometime - this is a great place for such inactivity!

Connection

Here is one of the most beautiful, meaningful photos I've seen lately - thanks to Todd for sharing it.  What does it say to me?  First take a look and see what it says to you……….I see a joining of the masculine and feminine parts of myself into one whole spiritual being in a human body.  This is one of the subjects of study during the Walking with the Sacred  shamanic training.  There is a feeling of completeness that comes with such work.   Notice the candles are not joined totally - there is a gap above and below the joining.  Still, there is the connection.  Questions:  How do we make this happen?  Is a complete joining ideal?  Or is it more healthy spiritually and/or humanly to feel those gaps, those separations?  From my own viewpoint, I am at least beginning to recognize times when one is overpowering the other.  And, perhaps that is good.  Perhaps that is what balance is all about - shifting, adjusting, balancing, making it all work together for a wholeness.  Reminds me of the saying "They are joined at the hip."  Maybe that's what this depicts, being joined at the hip.  I like that,….being joined at the hip is just about right.  How nice it would be if I could be joined at the hip of everyone!

Praying Mantis

 Another good day yesterday.  Practicing some divination work, reviewing notes from "Walking with the Sacred" week, watching a fire in the cabin fireplace,  knitting - in general a very pleasant day!  Sending you my most recent nature photo.  This little girl was perched beside my front door.  She is all brown, not green like others I've seen.  Is this her winter coat?  Is she dead? She didn't move even when I held the camera very close.   I didn't disturb her, so don't really have answers.  What a graceful being she is - I must Google her and learn more.  But first, it's meditation time - gotten to be a lovely habit - first thing each morning I grab my warm poncho, throw it on over my pj's, dash up to the Yogatorium and turn on the heat.  Then, a cup of tea, a shower, some clothes instead of pj's, and a blog post!   A lovely way to begin a day!  May you be happy!

Beaver

Well today was a total surprise - one of those once-in-a-lifetime events.  On my way home from town I found a beaver lying in the road over a bridge  - obviously someone had run over her.  I managed to get her into my 4-runner and brought her home to Todd.  He spent several hours skinning her and will later work the hide - not sure exactly what that entails but he knows.  What a fun thing watching him go through the process.  Here's me with my roadkill - fortunately she was dead only a short time and seemed to be damaged only in the head so the fur was intact - and still is - miraculously - even after he peeled it off - all in one piece!  Certainly not exactly what I planned doing today!   But, watching the process was a fascinating experience.   Look closely at the photo of me and you'll see the tail in front of the yellow rope on the left and the webbed feet - no wonder they swim well!
 

Sassafras Tree

So here's the sassafras tree - right next to an eastern red cedar at our mailbox (We call it a cedar, but it isn't a true cedar.).  Also, here is a small branch with the three different shaped leaves characteristic of the sassafras - one elliptical, one three-lobed, and one "mitten"-shaped all on the same little branch.   Just a quick forestry lesson for you…...  Another  yoga class on the deck last evening.  And, we are enjoying it so much we'll try another even after the time change this weekend when it will definitely be dark by six o'clock.  So, wear a jacket.  Soon it will be too cold, but now it is a joy.  We were serenaded by an owl last evening.   Today will be another beautiful fall day at The Pond.  Come join me for yoga on the deck at 10…..Also, you might want to make an appointment for a shamanic energy healing session. If you are interested, give me a call and I'll tell you more.  Several new practices are now in my tool box.

Shaman Stuff

It's great to be back home again - already four yoga classes so a good chance to say hello to many students - and introduce a new practice - that of "breath of fire" and "pulsing" - drawing energy into the body.  The "Breath of Fire"is like the yoga uddiyana bandha practice.   Come see what it's all about if you haven't already tried it with me.  Or, even if you have.  It's a great energizing practice.  And who doesn't want more energy?…...  So, today is a day at The Pond - no reason to go to town.  These are lovely days - beginning with an hour of meditation in the Yogatorium to a new CD of Steven Halpern's - meditation music in 5-minute segments for 70 minutes. By far the most workable meditation session I've had.   Left me with a feeling of being able to track with more success. "Tracking" is one of many, many tools now in my shaman's basket. It's a technique for following a client's energy.   ……As you can see, I haven't yet come back down to Earth….but I'm close enough…Here's a photo of my red maple tree right beside the hammock.    One of the most beautiful redness on the land here.   Although, the sassafras at the mailbox is great too - I'll get a photo of it today.

Wild Woman

Wild Woman - Omega 2013

Arrived home Saturday about 5 pm after a 10-hour drive of 600 miles.  Amazing that it was not really a bad day at all - full of lots of processing of what had gone on the previous two weeks - which I am still doing and will be for some time.  Very powerful training - the final two weeks of my 7-week Healing the Light Body School with Four Winds Society over a span of 15 months.  Many new tools added to my shaman tool box now ready to pass along to you.  Here's a photo of me in my costume for a skit - I'll give you the poem I used to exemplify the Wild Woman I am.
A Summer Day- by Mary Oliver
Who made the world?
Who made the fox, the snake, the hawk?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean - 
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms ad thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is,
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Checking in after Week One at "Walking with Protection"

Surprise!  Taking a bit of time to blog again.  Last week was extremely busy going from early morning breathing sessions till 10 at night most days.  Now in Albany, NY visiting with friends - to return to Omega this afternoon and begin the second week of training.  I must admit, I am truly in my element at these trainings.  The other students are great fun to work with and helpful - we do nearly all of our work in teams of 2 to 5.  The instructors are talented and easy to work with.  There are only 20 students in this class (usually 40 to 60) so we have become great friends over the last week.  Now, another group will show up this afternoon, although one or two from this week will carry over as I am.  This past week was spent learning many, many methods of going deeper into my own Self and learning ways to assist others in their journeys.  Many astounding events have occurred.  I feel-----resurrected is the word that comes up--healthier mentally, physically, and spiritually.  I will try my best to pass some of this along to you in our gatherings when I return.  Now, time to introduce my friends to the practice of illumination.  Don't look for more posts before Friday evening.  I'll try then unless I've driven so far I can't do anything but sleep!

To Healing the Light Body School

Clouds in Matamoras, PA

Spent the night in Matamoras, PA only 25 miles from my destination but a lovely spot (3 weddings here this weekend) and needed a long morning to lazy around - which is what I'm now doing.  Just finished a nice long meditation gazing out the window at these fascinating clouds.   The sun is now breaking through and it will be another delightful October day.  The fall colors of the trees have been gorgeous in parts of PA mountains I ended up with yesterday, but otherwise, not yet full color.  The trip has been totally uneventful so far - only got lost once - went to Chappells rather than Coronaca to 72 and found a road never traveled before from Chappells to Clinton!   Free today for a few more hours - classes begin at 4:00 today and end at noon on Friday - then up to Albany to visit long-time friends (over 40 years) Friday and Saturday nights - then back for next week's program (Walking with the Sacred).  This week is Walking with Protection.  Since these are the last two for the Healing the Light Body School program I expect to be wearing wings when I get back home!

Deck Screws

Just for fun here's a photo of the screws (some of them) Todd installed in the deck (2700 of them!)

In Staunton, VA for the night - a bit over 400 miles leaving about 500 still to go.  On my way to Omega Institute near Rhinebeck, NY for my final two weeks of shaman training.  I'll spend another night on the road tomorrow somewhere.  What a a joy to be traveling again!  I love it.  Today I began listening to Carolyn Myss tapes on Sacred Contracts - all about archetypes, astrological wheel, and such - great preparation for Working with the Sacred week coming up - I think - don't really know what the training will be about.  Anyway, gaining a new perspective about learning to live with myself in this spiritual world.  ......We did get a yoga class on the deck Wednesday evening - what fun!  But, too cold yesterday morning.

Yoga on the Deck

On the way early this morning to Anderson for a visit to my podiatrist.  But, thought you'd like to know  the deck is ready for yoga class on Wednesday evening and Thursday morning!  Todd has been working hard to get it ready before I leave on Friday morning - and it's READY!  (not quite totally finished, but ready enough)
 Come join us to enjoy Yoga on the Deck under the trees!  You'll love the experience!

Deck Progress

Jaquie on South Deck

Monday morning after a lovely weekend - lots of progress on the deck.  You're looking at 1/3 that already has the deck boards down - 2/3 more to go.  Yes, it's BIG - 32 by 20.  Three levels.   Now rain has come so progress will be stopped for a while.  What a great place this will be for yoga sessions!  AND,  spiritual and energy healing sessions under the Persimmon Tree!  Yesterday's spiritual session was truly inspiring.  We'll take a break now and begin again November 3 after I return from Omega.  Plan to come join us Sunday afternoons from 2:30 to 4:30 as we go through Richard Rohr's Falling Upward: Spirituality for Two Halves of Life.   We're gaining valuable insights.

Long Bodies

Whee!  Friday is my day off - no classes - so more household chores and reading and studying and just plain being!  Here's a little fellow who has been greeting me the last few days on my front stoop.  What great pets they make!  No words of wisdom this morning except - Just Be! Oh, yes, that's me imitating my buddy.

Building Again!

Jaquie, the Level Woman

Once again, a busy week - lots happening - main thing is a deck is being built behind the Yogatorium.  This is something I dreamed of 6 years ago the very day the Yogatorium was completed!  And, so now, it is underway.  I got a chance to help by watching the bubbles in the level when the posts were being set.  Now waiting for delivery of rest of the materials tomorrow.  Am busy reading advance materials for my training beginning October 13.  Spent some time today washing windows after getting them unstuck from years of paint.   Now, I can really see out of my front windows which were filled with mud dauber nests, spiders, etc. etc.  Even cloroxed the spider mess on the walls under the light by my front door!  This cleaning bit is a common occurrence this time of year - First Pod sisters will be here the first weekend in November, then the whole family - all 10 of us gather here for Thanksgiving for three days - We're REALLY thankful so it takes several days to do it right.  So, I do my big cleaning prior to the arrival of my daughters-in-law.  Thank goodness they come once a year!  Otherwise, I'd probably never really clean house.

Flying High

Monday morning and back to normal.  Meditation, a little healing practice, making energy drink, gathering recyclables and garbage to drop off on my way to the Y and yoga class.  Then the bank, a couple of other errands in town, buying groceries, and back home for a lunch, nap, maybe a bit of time in the hammock, and yoga class tonight.  Typical Monday.  Except, I'm changing.  Maybe that's just who I am - constantly changing.  My connection to Spirit and all things in Nature is growing by leaps and bounds - thanks in large part to our group meetings on Sunday afternoons and to my increased repeating meditations.  FINALLY, they are becoming habitual and I am becoming eager to do them!  The parasailing photo fits my mood this morning - feel like I am flying high!  That's me and Sam a couple summers ago.

Visions?

I can't believe the week has been so busy I haven't written since Monday!  It has been filled with two hour-long meditations most every day and preparation for being at Omega for two weeks October 11-27 for my final shaman training and pondering the compulsion to continue the Finding Spirit Here Now meetings on Sunday afternoons from 2:30 to 4:30 at the Yogatorium.  We will try it.  More about this later.  For now, I want to let you in on a secret - I have been having delightful visions (that's the only thing I know to call them) nearly every morning just before I come fully awake.  This morning I saw a beautiful tiny heron, I think a Great Blue Heron, lying on a stem, branch of a tree, I think.  Interpreting these sightings is truly educational - using Ted Andrews' Naure Speaks and Animal Speak as reliable sources.  The closer I get to nature and spend time there, extended time, the closer I feel to my True Self.  Now, time for a meditation.

little "i", BIG "I"

A member of our Finding Spirit Here Now group yesterday suggested these words for my turning point:  Spiritual Bankruptcy.  She hit the nail on the head.  I had not before had an explanation since I couldn't really point to a "dark night of the soul" which seems to be an often-used explanation for spiritual awakening.  But, I had spent fifty years "outside the church" and also outside spirituality.   Busy "building my container," as Richard Rohr says in Falling Upward, our group's current wisdom source.   I am so grateful for my awakening, even though I can't truly point to a single event in ordinary time when I was "saved."  For me, awakening is an ongoing process - a journey.  I am working on being saved from my "little i" (ego or false self) and becoming my "big I", True Self.  (Satchidananda's words).  One of the great benefits of a spiritual community like Finding Spirit Here Now is learning from each other.  We are blessed.  You are welcome to join us.

Love - Eliminating Expectations

"Love as though you've never been hurt before."  I mentioned that in my last post.  I want to write about it but I'm stumped.  It seems too  personal.   But here I go.  How many times have I been hurt by loving and losing?  I can remember one which is funny now.  Wasn't at the time, but in retrospect ....Al was a soldier stationed at Fort Jackson in Columbia.  He went AWOL riding his motorcycle to my home and asked me to marry him.  I said "Yes."  The next morning he shipped out to Korea without even letting me know!  Found out from his buddy.  I've never figured that one out.  ......Regardless of all the losses, I am beginning, just beginning, to love more freely - without restrictions or demands or expectations.  That's the hard part, eliminating the expectations.  Where do we get the idea that we need, or even want, love from everyone we meet?  What is love, after all?  If we give it freely does it come back that way?  I'm thinking so.  Then the trick is to give love freely and whatever kind we give we get back?  Are we dancing on a tightrope?  Maybe.  For me,  eliminating the expectations is still the kicker.

Dance as though no one is watching you

Mailed a birthday note to Sydney, my dancing granddaughter with these words:  "Dance as though no one is watching you, love as though you have never been hurt before, sing as though no one can hear you, live as though heaven is on earth"...... at least occasionally.  Just this past week I ran across the words in a shared email that made me laugh out loud:  "What the neighbors think about you is none of your business."  I LOVE THAT!  Today, I shall live as though what the neighbors think is none of my business.  I am dancing as though no one is watching me.    For, in truth, no one is.  Well, the yard man is mowing the grass, but he is surely intent on his work and has no interest in what I'm doing.  I know where my obsession with living  hoping for approval came from - My Mother was forever saying "What will the neighbors think?"  And, she got that instilled in her by her father.  Anyhow, I'm old enough now to know that joy comes from dancing as though no one is watching and today is a good day to dance.  While I dance, I'll contemplate loving as though I've never been hurt before.