Impermanence - "Living Your Yoga"

Impermanence.  Change.  The truth.  I thrive on change.  Somehow the word impermanence seems less attractive.  And yet.....it does inspire deep thought - it did last evening when Millie and I met for our Wednesday evening session.  Unfortunately Diana didn't make it but we carried on.  For two hours!  There is something about change that is both appealing and frightening.  Perhaps the fright adds to the attractiveness for me.  The notion that nothing is permanent is a core yoga concept.  Change is as factual as death and taxes.  Since that is so, (perhaps even more likely than taxes) why do we find it so difficult to accept?  Even I, who relish change, find it upsetting to contemplate change.  Going outside the box or outside my comfort zone awakens doubt and fear and makes me tend to cling to what is - attachment to what is - and we all know that non-attachment is a cardinal rule of yoga philosophy.  One that takes conscious attention.  It is easy to become attached to the way things are.  But, they don't stay the way they are.  Thanks be to God!  Change also creates excitement and makes my adrenaline flow!  It wakes me up to possibilities!

Loving Life

Already it's Wednesday after Thanksgiving and I'm still in recovery mode.  Spent much of yesterday reading a novel again - trying to reconnect to life here as usual.  My morning meditation and other rituals are beginning to feel natural  again after missing four days of Thanksgiving houseguests.  The two yoga classes at the church and Reiki with Todd for Duane last evening all contributed to restoring my Self.  Most of the Thanksgiving leftovers have either been eaten or stored in the freezer.  Surprisingly my crazy eating over the last week have caused no upset to my  digestive tract!  Maybe, just maybe, my food allergy drops and other supplements have finally turned the corner and my body is healed!  It has taken a year and a half of tightly controlled diet and supplements, but it has worked!  For this, I am so very grateful.  Thanks be to God!  This morning it's yoga at Ashley House, swim at the Y (Can I really make it twice in one week?) and yoga again tonight at the Yogatorium.  So, things are returning to normal.  Pod Sisters conference call tonight to discuss Chapter Six (about The Ugly Duckling myth)  of Women Who Run With Wolves following spiritual sisters meeting at 7:00 to discuss Living With Yoga chapter on impermanence.   So, a usual busy Wednesday.  I love my life!!!  May you love yours too.

Quiet Rainy Day

Well, I did it!  I actually got in the pool at the Y after yoga class yesterday!  What a kick.  Have no idea why I deny myself such pleasures - makes no sense at all - but I do.  Anyhow, I got the first one done, perhaps others will follow.  Also had a delightful sit in the hot tub - beautiful firm jet streams and temperature.  Then a shower and shampoo - all free with my job as a yoga teacher one hour per week.  What a bargain.  Not only have I made lots of new yoga friends, but I enjoy the facilities too.....It's raining this morning - hope it continues for a while, but not predicted to do so.  The water level of the Pond keeps going down.  I guess the water table is still so low it can't hold the water even if it does come up for a day or so.  So, this morning I'll simply enjoy another few hours of solitude with the beauty of a soft rain cleansing the air and the surroundings.  The colors of the trees and grasses and weeds and shrubs all seem brighter even in the dullness of the light while it's raining. ...... Moon was close to full last evening - didn't even need light to get from the Yogatorium to my cottage after class.  

Monday after Thanksgiving

What a memorable Thanksgiving.  So many fun things occurred.  One of the last ones - Kelsey and Sydney - two granddaughters - did a photo op with me!  So, here's the long-haired Grandma Jaquie.  (one with a flash and one without)  Now, it's time to get back to the ordinary world - two yoga classes today, tomorrow, and Wednesday.  So, I'll get a chance to visit with my many yoga friends.  It's cold these mornings so I'm thinking of escaping to a warmer place sometime before spring.  But mostly I'm thinking of enjoying a quiet December when everyone else seems to be very busy and I seem to find more quiet time.  Perhaps - just perhaps, I'll get back to my writing.  Yesterday as part of my recovery from Thanksgiving, I spent most of the day reading a novel Faye left when the Pod Sisters were here - The Wife's Tale - a very good read.  It's one of my passions to every now and then just spend a whole day reading a good story with no intention of learning.  And, yet, inevitably I learn - this time clues for finding one's authentic self.  Or, at least, one woman's story.  Perhaps this is what is inspiring me to get back to my own writing.    Two things are actually on my horizon - writing and swimming.  It's always fun to swim in the winter when it's too cold to walk outside.  I've been carrying around in my car my swim bag but haven't yet used it.  Maybe today?  We'll see. 

A few photos from Thanksgiving weekend.  The 5 grands on the back of Luke's truck at the skeet site - and me skeeting!  I actually hit the clays four out of five trials!  And, finally Kelsey, Susan and Luke doing smores at the fire pit Wednesday evening.

Thanksgiving - The Next Morning

Well, we made it happen once again.  For the past 6 years, we have managed to pull off a full-fledged Thanksgiving dinner here at the cottage with all of the family together - all 11 in 2006 and after Bob passed that December 17, all ten of us.  The five kids all sleep in the Yogatorium and that makes it possible.  Some of the cooking takes place during the days before but the making of the dressing (We made enough for 40 this year!  Everyone can take some home.  Kelsey is really tickled with all the leftovers she can take back to Clemson.) and the meats (fried turkey and roasted ham) yesterday.  This year we got smart and scheduled the meal for 6:00 and managed to have it all ready by then. Took us five years to learn that no matter how much had been done before, the day of was impossible to complete the food stuff by 2:00 or 3:00 or even 4:00!  Here's a partial list:  cranberry salad (which no one eats except me and Luke, but mother always made it), sweet potato souffle, macaroni and cheese, corn bread dressing and gravy, collards, roasted veggies (for me), Coca-cola chocolate cake, pecan pie, cherry-o-cheese pies (2), pumpkin pie, apple pie and ice cream, and I'm sure I've left something out   Oh - the fried turkey and roasted ham!  And  homemade chex mix for snacking and cornbread.  and????.....It was cold so we couldn't spill out to the porch and all crammed into the cottage for serving AND eating!  We watched football (some watched more than others and it was impossible to hear the commentary - too much chatting going on) and Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving. The kids played cards - War and Go Fish, etc.  There was champagne and beer and sparkling grape juice - and the discussion of whether or not Kelsey (the oldest ) was allowed - is 18 legal?  In a home?  That was her contention.  How exciting to have another family member attending Clemson!  Most of you know Bob and I taught there, I got two degrees there and both Tate and Luke graduated from Clemson.  Of course, Bob and I, and Luke's wife Susan went to Carolina, as well as Clemson, so tomorrow night's game will be on everyone's mind - lucky Tate's family will be there - the rest of us will watch it on TV and be happiest if Clemson wins - which of course they will???.......Today, being Black Friday, the women and kids will go shopping (except me) and some kids and the men will fish and shoot skeet.  Me?  I'll float around between what's going on and enjoy all of it!  Photos next time - can't find my camera this morning among all the belongings strewn all over the place!

My first-born's birthday

This the birthday of my son Tate, my first-born child.  (The photo is three years old-can't find a newer one.)He arrived following two early spontaneous miscarriages.  He was definitely planned and desired - no accident.  Bob and I were married for ten years before - purposefully avoiding pregnancy while he attended graduate school and began developing his career as a mathematician.  The successful pregnancy came while I was attending school full time at the University of New Mexico as a physical education student - my third year of university schooling after ten years of working as a secretary.  (I had completed two years at U. of South Carolina before we married.)  We had owned one home in Riverside, California, for a year  and then moved to Albuquerque where Tate was born.  I don't remember a whole lot about the birth, except that it was quick and easy but I do remember nine months of perfect health - I quit smoking and drinking alcohol, ate good food, exercised, etc.  I felt wonderful the whole nine months.  Bob once said, "If it didn't result in kids, I'd keep you pregnant all the time."   (This after the second child, our planned limit,  was born.)  I'll never forget the first ten days after Tate's birth.  Bob would not allow anyone inside the house for ten days - afraid of germs.  He changed diapers, did the middle-of-the-night feedings, and spent every hour not at work caring for the baby.  My life was as easy as could possibly be.  Except for the fear of doing somethinIg wrong!  I spent all my free time reading "Dr. Spock" and trying to follow every rule, telling myself all would be well, but didn't really believe that until he could talk!  About then, I finally began to relax and enjoy being a mother.   So, today I celebrate the beginning of a love-affair of 48 years that will never end.  Happy Birthday Son!

My Soul Sings

The weather page on my laptop shows 39 in Joshua Tree and 16 in Taos!  Whee - I'm glad I'm here now.....  I do not like cold weather.  It's a lovely overcast morning with light rain falling on the Pond.  The wind chimes are stirring, but the wind is light, no ripples on the surface of the Pond.  This is my free morning.  No yoga till this afternoon so I am enjoying plenty of time to acknowledge the six directions, meditate (on my back on the floor with my knees bent and a strap around my thighs - which I am beginning to feel is the best way ever - especially for those who find it impossible to sit with a straight back.......The persimmon trees are full of orange fruit.  The pistachio nut trees Dad bought from California many years ago are flame red now.  Colors are beginning to fade, but still I see reds, yellows, rust, brown and, of course, green of the pines.  The white of the labyrinth stones becomes brighter it seems with each rain.  It is quiet as only it can be here.  Of course, stillness and quiet exist at other places I've been, but this is my personal "special place" sitting in my grass chair looking over the Pond with only the refrigerator motor singing to me.  No other sounds.   And when the motor stops-----lovely silence.  My life seems to expand and soar in these gaps.  Nothing hurts.  Everything is good.  My soul begins to sing.

Pod Sisters are Here

The last few days disappeared!  Pod sisters, Sara and Nancy arrived Thursday, Faye yesterday.  Each one has now had an illumination/extraction with Todd or me and also a beautiful fire (Thanks to Todd) in the pit outside the Yogatorium last night where Millie joined us and we did a bit of drumming and fire watching - even an attempt at chanting - BUT, I need to work on my leadership there a bit.  By December 21 when we hold our drumming circle here I'll be ready.  And, we made squash soup (Sara's contribution - she's always bringing along delightful recipes and food - and does the preparation!!!) which is super good.  This morning, the knitting is back in swing.  Faye is working on a beautiful brown and gold colors and Sara a complicated pattern that took the two of them quite a while to interpret. ...... Beamer, Nancy's lab, is also keeping us company.  What a joy to share space with my Claritas friends - we've been meeting four weekends a year - since the fall of 2005.  I'm truly a blessed woman.

Light Body School at Joshua Tree Retreat Center, CA

I'm back.  Not all the way mentally, but physically I'm here.   I'm sitting in my meditation chair looking at the rain and the surface of the Pond and the Labyrinth - coming back slowly to this world.  I'm stuck this morning on two lines from my daily prayer of opening sacred space:  to Father Sun:  Thank you for bringing us together and allowing us to Sing the Song of Life.  That's what I've been doing all last week at Joshua Tree Retreat Center east of Los Angeles in the High Desert.  Sixty of us from as far away as New Zealand and Sweden, Canada, Texas, New York, Gainesville, GA and Ninety Six SC.  And, of course, California and Colorado residents and others.  For seven days my friend Todd and I sang the song of life along with so many beautiful men and women.    We began our stay at 5:30 a.m. with a walk up the nearby mountain (well, actually just a hill) to watch the sunrise while the moon was still bright.  (At 8,000 feet it felt like a mountain.)........Our leaders were superb, their messages divinely inspired, and our lives enriched beyond words.  We were cleansed of no longer useful stuff and refilled with light at this West module of the Healing the Light Body School.  A spectacular full and nearly full moon graced us all week long.  At our final  Fire Ceremony on Friday evening, we watched a huge yellow moon rise while standing in a circle surrounding the fire.  Now, we are eagerly awaiting our drumming circle here at the Yogatorium on December 21.  Plan to join us.  You won't be sorry! But even before that, an all-day Yoga Retreat, Novembe 17.   (Find more details soon at www.yogatorium.com.)